Saturday, June 27, 2009

Hernia Attack!

Son and I had decided to go surfing on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Feeling old and feeble I figured chugging four large cups of green tea would help generate the energy to paddle pass the breakers.

So there we were on the ocean. The water warm and glassy, and the sun heading down. Me in a full wetsuit with four large cups of green tea inside my bladder -- wanting to merge with the sea. Life was good. Sometimes there is nothing better than laying on your board in the ocean, peeing freely in your wetsuit. Feeling warmth radiating from within and held by the confines of a rubber membrane.

Waves came. Large humping shapes appeared on the horizon, blocking the sun and stirring activity and adrenaline. As we positioned for our paddle glides down their long faces we noticed sun shining through the backs of the waves spreading warm light on our boards.


Then there was pain. I had a feeling like my intestines were sliding through my stomach wall. Crap. It felt like a blow-out of an old hernia from childhood.


The next day I can barely walk as it feels like my guts are hanging out, yet nothing shows in the mirror.

What is a hernia? According to http://hernia.com the most common location for hernia is the abdomen. The abdominal wall - a sheet of tough muscle and tendon that runs down from the ribs to the legs at the groins - acts as 'nature's corset to hold your guts in.

If a weakness should open up in that abdominal wall, and all kinds of things can make this happen (in my case peeing and surfing), then the 'corset effect' is lost and your intestines simply push through the 'window' like green tea meeting the ocean. The ensuing bulge, which is often quite visible against the skin, is the hernia.

These 'windows of weakness' commonly occur where there are natural weaknesses in our abdominal wall Examples of these are the canals (inguinal and femoral) which allow passage of vessels down to the scrotum and the legs, respectively. The umbilical area (navel) is another area of natural weakness frequently prone to hernia. Another area of potential weakness can be the site of any previous abdominal surgery. Sounds delightful huh?

So next I’m at the doctor’s office turning my head and coughing while he’s jabbing a finger in my groin to feel for something unusual.

I’ve just received my referral slip for a visit with the surgeon.


For more stupid stories like this one, please visit http://www.boomer-books.com/boomertales.html

To be continued . . . .

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Welcome to the boomer-booksblog.

Hopefully you'll find worthwhile posts to help you solve and enjoy the mysteries of aging and enjoying life as you turn the corner past 50.

I'll try and post all the yucky experiences we get to share as we grow ungracefully into what others might refer to as senior citizens. I still can't figure out who that old geezer is in the mirror. He looks scary as hell.